


When You're Gone

by Magicalmanda



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Post 6x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 11:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11508126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicalmanda/pseuds/Magicalmanda
Summary: 5 times the Gallaghers realize that Ian misses Mickey and 1 time Ian admits it to himself.





	When You're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Title is an Avril Lavigne song  
> Not proofread but I hope you enjoy

Carl 

Carl had been home for a few days when he finally realized what was missing. And even in all the excitement he wondered how he hadn’t seen it sooner. The vacant spot in Ian’s bed, the lack of harsh cuss words over morning pancakes, and the house overall seemed quieter. And after he noticed that, he started to notice other things. Ian was different. Yeah he was on his meds so he was adjusting, but he still seemed empty. He went through the motions, but his smiles were shadows of what they used to be, and his laugh didn’t have the same ring to it, if he even laughed at all. Most noticeable, was that the light had simply gone out from his eyes. 

He wasn’t stupid though, so he waited to ask Ian when no one else was home. No one besides Nick anyway. 

“Hey Ian, where’s Mickey?” Carl asked at the breakfast table one day. Ian froze as he stood over the sink. 

“He’s uh, in prison actually.” Ian said after a second too long. “Tried to kill Sammi after you got arrested.” 

“For me?” Carl asked a little in awe and Ian’s chin dropped to his chest. 

“No, for me,” he said softly and Carl wanted to know more, but his older brother was rushing out of the kitchen, mumbling something about work. 

“Who’s Mickey?” Nick asked around a mouthful of cereal. 

“His boyfriend,” Carl said, mind elsewhere. “Well, ex-boyfriend maybe.” Nick raised his brows, signaling he wanted to know more. “He was cool, a real badass. And he was good to Ian.” 

 

Lip 

Lip groaned as Ian’s socked foot kicked him awake. 

“Time to get up,” his brother called and Lip stumbled into a standing position. “Hey I need some advice.” Lip perked up at this. It had been years since Ian had asked for advice. It had actually been years since they had hung out like this, not since before Ian ran off to join the army. “I got a date tonight.” 

“What with the fireman?” Lip asked around his cigarette. 

“Yeah,” Ian said and then steeled himself like the next words where painful. “Mickey and I never really went on dates you know?” Lip paused. He knew Ian and this was his ‘internalized pain’ demeanor. 

“Yeah you guys never really needed dates,” Lip said casually and he didn’t miss the way Ian’s head snapped up. “You guys moved past that stage pretty quickly.” Ian didn’t say anything, just looked at his fingers as they fidgeted in his lap. He sighed. 

“We were going to go to dinner,” he said quietly, not looking at Lip. “But then Sammi had me arrested.” Lip hadn’t heard this story before, not that Ian would share it, not with the way things ended. 

“Yeah? Where were you going to go?” Lip asked gently, wanting to get more of this open and honest Ian. 

“Sizzlers,” Ian said with a laugh like it was funny. “We were all bloodied because I had beat the shit out of him earlier. He asked to borrow a shirt…” Ian trailed off. 

“You guys were one hell of a pair,” Lip said, just to push his luck. Ian closed up again and nodded solemnly. 

“So, this date.” 

 

Fiona 

The panic was rising in Fiona’s chest as she climbed the stairs to Sean’s apartment. It had finally happened, the family had been torn apart. There was nothing she could do. She was crying into Sean’s chest as soon as the door opened. 

“I’m so exhausted.” She sobbed. “Debbie’s having a girl, and she can’t talk to me. Ian hates me and he refuses to admit that he misses Mickey. And I’m worried about Carl.” Sean hugged her tightly as she cried herself out. He led her to the bed and helped her lay down. 

“Debbie will come back, give her time.” He started softly and Fiona snorted. “She will, she just needs to get knocked on her ass first. You know she needs you, Carl does too.” 

“Yeah what about Ian?” Fiona asked bitterly. “He’s so distant lately and I can’t get to him like I used to. Mickey practically took over caring for him, I’m out of practice.” 

“He’s an adult.” Sean said. 

“An adult who’s fighting his diagnosis.” Fiona grumbled. “It’s more than that though, I don’t know what happened between him and Mickey but he’s been so depressed since he got locked up.” 

“Well maybe it’s the fact that his boyfriend is serving a fifteen year sentence,” Sean said and Fiona shook her head. 

“Mickey’s been gone before, Ian’s never been like this. He doesn’t even visit the prison.” Sean sighed and rubbed her arm. 

“Things will pick up once his meds stabilize.” He reassured her and Fiona nodded, slumping more deeply into his body. 

 

Liam 

Liam didn’t remember much about the dark haired boy that used to kiss his brother. But he remembered that he and Ian would fall asleep together. Sometimes when Liam had nightmares he would climb up into Ian’s bed. The dark haired boy would grumbled about three bodies in a twin, but he would take Liam and roll over, tucking the younger boy in between himself and the redhead. Liam never felt as safe as he did in his brother's bed. 

But now when Liam gets up for the day, he sees Ian wrapped around a pillow instead. Arms locking it to his chest, nose pressed firmly into it. He wishes that the dark haired boy would come back. He made Ian smile and he played with Liam sometimes when everyone else was busy. 

 

Kevin 

“Hey Ian,” Kev called as he walked into the Gallagher kitchen and saw the familiar redhead. “Haven’t seen you at the Alibi lately.” Ian smiled but it looked a little off. 

“Not supposed to drink on my lithium,” he said with a slight shrug. 

“Oh that’s right,” Kev said. “Mickey told us about that.” Ian’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Yeah, bitched about it is more accurate. Threatened to brutally stab anyone that served you more than one beer.” 

“Huh,” Ian said softly, eyes lost in thought. 

“That surprise you?” Kevin asked, confused. “I thought Fi would be down your throat, telling you what you can and can’t do.” Ian shrugged, focus returning on the taller man. 

“She’s been a bit preoccupied.” He said simply, like that was excuse enough. Kevin let it go, but he later he caught Ian starring at a full beer bottle in his hands. Kevin stayed still in the door, watching the unsuspecting redhead. Ian rolled the bottle between his hands, careful not to spill the brown liquid. Kevin had already seen him finish two beers, and no one had said anything, he wondered if he should step in. 

“Dammit,” he heard Ian whisper before he put the bottle to his lips and tipped it back. Kevin strode into the kitchen and tore the bottle from his hands. Ian tried to look angry, but it only weakly masked his sadness. 

“We care about you too Ian,” Kevin said softly. 

“Not like he did,” he whispered before turning and going upstairs. 

 

Ian 

Ian was catching up on laundry when he found it. An old black sleeveless shirt. It was familiar, not because it was his, but because he had seen Mickey wear it tons of times. Ian sat heavily on his bed as he held the soft material in his hands. He pressed it to his face and inhaled. It was like someone punched him in the gut. He had missed that smell. It had faded too quickly from his sheets and his memory did not do it justice. Ian inhaled again and sighed slowly. His chest ached and it was the most human he had felt in a long time. He was shocked when he felt tears slipping from his eyes. 

A gaping hole had opened in his chest and Ian finally understood that he had been coasting these last few months. He hadn’t been living, not really, just existing. Just waiting for Mickey to pop up and say ‘surprise, I’m back.’ Waiting for his life to start again, because without Mickey life wasn’t worth living. 

Ian laid on his bed crying softly for a long time, Mickey’s shirt pressed to his chest. At one point Liam came into the room, pulled himself up onto Ian’s bed and laid on the redhead’s chest, his head pillowing on Mickey’s shirt. 

“Mickey mouse,” he said, reaching up to touch the black fabric. 

“Yeah buddy,” Ian said through his tears. “Mickey mouse.” 

“I wanna see him,” Liam demanded softly. 

“Okay, I’ll take you to see him.” Ian promised.


End file.
